When it comes to friends, there's bound to be a few bad apples in the bunch. For whatever reason -- maybe they're overly critical, perpetually depressed or just plain annoying -- you can't stand to be around them. Yet rather than keeping them in your life, consider giving them the heave-ho or you could suffer.
提到朋友，在那么一大堆人里必定有几个害群之马。不管是出于什么原因，可能他们过于吹毛求疵、始终沮丧或纯粹只是讨厌，你无法忍受呆在他们身边。然而，你可以考虑与他们绝交或者你可以承受，也胜过继续与之交往。
"Keeping toxic people around could take away time and energy from positive friends, damage your self-esteem or put you in harm's way," says Jan Yager, Ph.D., sociologist and author of When Friendship Hurts. Here, she deconstructs a dozen so-called friends you may want to break up with.
“让损友留在身边，会耗损益友的时间和精力，伤害你的自尊或者害了你自己”，社会学家《当朋友让你伤害》的作者詹.耶格博士说。这里，她解析了十二种你可能想要与之绝交的所谓的朋友。
The Faultfinder
吹毛求疵的人
You know these people: They're always critical of everything you do and say, which can be contagious. If this friend has redeeming traits, ignore the overly critical comments or make a joke by saying something like, "Let's see if you can last an hour without saying anything negative." However, if you're unable to distance yourself or your self-esteem is hurting too much, step away from the relationship.
你认识这种人：他们对你所做和所说的每件事情都一直挑刺，这种行为有时候会感染他人（情绪）。如果这个朋友也有一些可以弥补缺点的优点，那你就不要把他过度挑剔的意见放在心上，或者开个这样玩笑，如：“让我们看看如果你不发表任何批判意见，是不是能坚持一个小时”。可是，如果你抛不开这些，或者自尊受到太大伤害，那么就应远离这种关系。
The Therapist
心理诊疗师
Too much advice is never good, especially from a supposed friend. If you're keeping this person around because of the other wonderful traits she possesses, tell your friend you don't want advice unless you ask. Or thank the person without discussing her comments. Another solution? Start analyzing her and she may realize how annoying that can be.
忠告太多就不是什么好事，尤其是当这些忠告出于一个你所认为的朋友。如果你继续和她交往是因为她还具有其他很好的特质，那么，告诉你的朋友，除非是你主动要求否则你不需要别人的建议。或者绝口不提她给的建议，而只是谢谢她。另外的解决办法？开始分析她的性格，这样有可能她会意识到老给别人建议会有多烦人。
The Self-Absorbed
自恋狂
Everyone is self-absorbed to some extent, but when a person is always focused on herself and never lets you share anything about yourself, something needs to give. Because she may not be aware she's doing this, let your friend know. If she can't curb this trait and you don't want the friendship to end, limit how long you let her go on about herself; then give yourself equal air time.
从某种程度来说，每个人都是自恋的，但是当一个人总是以自我为中心，从不让你分享你自己的任何事情，某些需要交流的事情。因为她可能并未意识自己的行为，那么，要让你的朋友知道。如果她不能抑制这种性格，而你不也想要终结这种友谊，就限制她絮絮叨叨谈论自己的时间，然后，给自己同样长的发表意见的时间。
The Copy Cat
一味模仿者
Imitation is the highest form of flattery, but it could create hostility between you and your friend. If you want to keep her around, protect yourself by keeping things to yourself more often or timing when you share information. If, though, this trait is too annoying, end the friendship.
模仿是奉承的最高级形式，但是这会让你和朋友之间产生敌意。如果你想和她交往，那么，就可以通过更多地单独行事或者当分享某信息时掌握好合适的时间，从而保护你自己。可是如果这种性格太烦人，那就终结友谊。
The Promise Breaker
爱违约者
You're tired of constantly being disappointed by this friend, so if you want to keep this person around, lower your expectations. Also, call your friend on this behavior. Clue her in by asking, "Did you know this is the fourth time in two months you had to cancel lunch at the last minute?" However, if this trait puts you in too many compromising situations, makes you feel frustrated or disappointed in yourself for being treated like this, it may be time to abandon ship.
你受够了这种朋友经常地让你失望，所以，如果你想继续和这种人交往，就要降低期望值。同时，也要和你的朋友谈谈这种行为。通过下面的问话来提示她，如：“你知道吗？这是两个月内，你第四次在最后一刻取消午餐”。然而，如果这种性格置你于太多不利情形，因为受到这样的待遇，你感到灰心丧气或失望，可能正是放弃这段友谊的时候了。
The Risk Taker
好冒险的人
From shoplifting and experimenting with drugs to driving recklessly, your daredevil friend's behavior should raise serious red flags. "You need to protect yourself," Yager says, adding that you want to encourage your friend to stop her risk-taking ways. But don't try to change her yourself; more than likely, your friend will need help from a professional therapist. Then tell your friend you're suspending your relationship until she straightens up.
从入店行窃、以身试毒到不顾后果驾驶，你蛮勇的朋友的行为应引起严重警戒，“你需要保护你自己”，耶格说，又补充道，你想要帮助你的朋友停止冒险活动。但是，不要试着单靠你自己来改变她；很有可能，你朋友需要来自己专业理疗师的帮助。然后，告诉你的朋友，你会暂时中止你们的关系，直到她改过自新。
The Competitor
竞争者
Some competition can be healthy -- if your friend's goals or achievements serve as motivation for you -- but if the Competitor wants what you have, acts in a hostile way and will do anything not only to get what you have but take it away, this could cost you. If your friend has to get a house that's bigger or more expensive than yours to seem more successful than you, it may be time to dump her.
有些竞争是良性的（如果朋友的目标或者成就，能成为你的动力），但是，如果竞争者想得到你所拥有的东西，以一种敌意的方式行事，甚至可以不惜一切手段来不仅得到你有的东西，而且要夺去这些，这可能会让你付出惨痛教训。如果朋友一定要得到一所比你更大更贵的房子，以显得比你更成功，那么可能是摆脱她的时候了。
The Bloodsucker
寄生者
This friend is overly dependent on you for emotional support or information. True, it can be flattering to be needed, and of course, the Bloodsucker may be there for you when other friends are too busy for you. But this energy vampire can be draining, which is why you should consider if this friend is worth keeping. As long as you set limits and know that this person will probably make extreme demands on you, you could keep this person in your life.
这种朋友在情感方面或者信息方面过度依赖于你。被别人需要会让你觉得很受用，这是真的，当然，当其他朋友因为太忙而不能陪你时，寄生者可能会站在你身边。但这种精力吸血鬼会大量消耗你，这就是为什么你要考虑一下，是否这种朋友值得你交。只要你设有忍耐限度，并且知道这种人可能会对你作出过份要求，那么，你是可以与这种人来往的。
The Abuser
虐待狂
Don't tolerate anybody who verbally, physically or sexually abuses you. Of course, in some situations, it can be tough to figure out what constitutes abuse. Keep in mind, if someone is vicious and malicious in their comments and treatment of you, you're being verbally abused. Even sexual abuse may not be obvious, as it include subtle behaviors like making jokes that are offensive or sexual in nature, inappropriate comments or sexual harassment. If necessary, contact local police, counseling centers, victims programs, addiction programs or emergency hotlines for help. Then keep this kind of person away from you.
不要容忍任何言语上、身体上或性虐待你的人。当然，在某些情形下，很难确定怎样就构成了虐待。记住，如果某人言论和谈及你时恶意、不道德，你就受到了口头虐待。虽然性虐待可能不太明显，因为它包括某些微妙行为，如开些无礼或色情的玩笑，不适宜的谈话或性骚扰。如果有必要，可以向当地警局、咨询中心、受害者康复项目，成瘾康复项目和紧急状况热线求助，这会让这种人远离你。
The double-Crosser
出卖朋友者
From spreading lies about you to going after your romantic partner, the Double Crosser's actions are the exact opposite of a friend's. If the doublecross happened only once, you might decide to continue the friendship, but let this guy know that his behavior is unacceptable. If you can't forgive, cut the friendship. Just don't ignite his wrath or he could turn against you.
从撒播关于你的谎言到追求你的恋人，出卖朋友的人所作所为刚好是朋友的反面。如果出卖朋友行为只发生了一次，你可以决定继续友谊，但是要让这个家伙知道这种行为不能接受。如果你不能原谅，那么就中止友谊。只是不要激起他的愤怒，否则他会与你为敌。
The Controller
控制狂
Being a Controller is part of this person's personality, which means it's a harder trait to break. But it can be frustrating for you to be dominated so much. Maybe the Controller has to pick out everything you do as friends and gives an opinion on everything you do or want to do without being asked. There is no give and take, as the Controller is uncomfortable and bossy if you want to make a choice about something. If you want to keep the friendship alive, let the person know how much you dislike being controlled. This trait, though, may become so negative that you may need to break ties.
做个控制者是其个性的一部分，这意味着这个性是较难纠正的。但是，如果受控很严重，就很令人沮丧。该控制狂作为朋友可能会拿出你所做的每件事情，对你所做的和想要做的每件事情都不请自来地给出意见。那是不容商量的，因为如果你想对某件事作出选择，控制狂会不安而专横。如果你想保持友谊，就让那个人知道你有多么不喜欢受控。可是，这种个性，有时会变得很不利，以至你需要断绝这种关系。
The Downer
扫兴者
"The Downer is a person you have to let into your life with care because this trait can be contagious," Yager says. It goes without saying, of course, that these types are always down, but ironically, if you're upbeat and positive, that may be the reason the Downer was attracted to you in the first place. It is not your job to be a therapist. But realize that she may not be able to change without professional help. Decide if she has any redeeming traits and if you can stay upbeat around her. If not, end the friendship. Don't keep her around just because you feel sorry for her.
“扫兴者是一种让他进入你生活时你必须小心的人，因为这种性格会感染他人”，耶格说。当然，不用说，这种人一直情绪低落，但是有讽刺意味的是，如果你达观而积极，那可能是扫兴者被你吸引的首要原因。做心理治疗师可不是你的工作。但是你要知道如果没有专业帮助她可能改变不了。你要确定是否在缺点之外她有一些可以弥补的优点，是否有她在身边你仍可以保持达观。如果答案是否定的，那么，就结束友谊，不要仅仅因为你为她感到遗憾就和她继续交往。