In Tupac's famous song, Dear Mama, the lyrics say: "No love from my daddy 'cause the coward wasn't there. He passed away and I didn't cry. They say I'm wrong and I'm heartless, but all along I was looking for a father he was gone."
Tupac有一首非常出名的歌曲，歌名叫做Dear Mama，歌词写道："没有父亲的爱，因为那个懦夫根本就不在我们的身边。他离世了，我没有哭。他们说我错了、说我冷酷无情，但我始终寻找一个已经离开的父亲。"It is true, I did not have any father's love when I was growing up because he left my mom, sister and I when I was about five years old.
这是真的，长大的过程中，我没有感受过父亲的爱，因为他在我5岁的时候，离开了我的母亲、姐姐和我。Today marks over a month since we buried my father. The week leading to his funeral was confusing, emotionally draining and also full of revelations. I didn't know how to tell those close to me about his passing since he was never a part of my upbringing.
距离父亲下葬已有一个月了。葬礼的那一周我非常困惑、情绪枯竭，也受到了各种各样的启示。我不知该如何告诉那些和我关系亲密的人，告诉他们我的父亲去世了，因为他从没参与过我的成长。
But he was still my father, present in my life or not.
但他还是我的父亲，不管他有没有在我的生活中出现过。I have always been vocal about fatherlessness and the power of single mothers who raise boys to be men. I know from my personal experience that it isn't easy for a woman to raise a man. That is why I appreciate my mother and the many other women who raise boys to be great men.
一直以来，我都直言不讳地谈论我没有父亲，以及单亲母亲将小男孩儿养成男人是多么的了不起。从我的个人经历中，我知道一个女人把男孩儿养大成人是多么的不容易。所以我很感激我的母亲，也感激很多其它的女人，她们将男孩儿抚养成为优秀的男人。So, after hearing the news of his passing, I went straight home to see my mom and sister. In this era of technology, I was worried that someone may overtake me and break the sad news to them. Fortunately, I got home before anyone had passed on the message.
所以，听闻他过世的消息后，我立马回家看望我的母亲和姐姐。在这个科技时代，我很担心其他人比我先告知她们这一令人悲伤的消息。幸运的是，我到家之时，尚未有人告诉她们。There was dead silence.
当时一片死寂。I asked myself a lot of questions. What do we do? Are we supposed to ask mother dearest for permission to bury our father or at least contribute towards his burial? As adults, do we just make our own decisions?
我问了自己很多问题。我们要做什么？我们是不是应该征求最亲爱的母亲的允许，问她是否可以埋了我们的父亲或者至少为他做点什么？作为成年人，我们是不是得自己做决定？This is where I got to see revelations of character from these two wonderful women in my life. This is when I got to fully see my mother's true character. She just said: "That man is your father, you do whatever feels right."
就在那时，我发现了我生命中最美好的两个女人的性格。就在此地，我完全看到了母亲的真正性格。她只是说："那个男人是你的父亲，你做你觉得对的事情就行了。"That for me was a sign that my mom was neither bitter nor angry at him, at least not at that point.
对我来说，这表明母亲既没有为他悲痛也没有生他的气，至少当时没有。At the end, it was up to us. Our mother did not stand in our way, she gave us the freedom to decide on what to do.
最后，一切都取决于我们。我们的母亲没有阻碍我们，她让我们自己决定该做些什么。