A Foreigner By Any Other Name
In China, mi gao is a popular type of rice cake. It's also my name. It translates to Tall Rice and Chinese people find it hilarious.
Tall Rice was born on a business card, a name given to me by my cubicle neighbor at China Daily, the state-owned newspaper where I worked when I first arrived here in 2007. I had an interview lined up and I needed business cards -- essential for any formal greeting in China. Since I needed business cards, I needed a Chinese name.
My colleague tackled my request for a new name with vigor, spending the better part of an hour scribbling down different combinations of characters on a piece of paper.
She slipped the paper on my keyboard as I edited a story. There were two characters written on it.
"That means rice. That means tall, or high. It's Mi Gao," she said.
"Rice Tall?"
"Tall Rice is better."
The reporter behind me peaked his head over the cubicle wall. "Ha, that's a stupid name!"
"No it's not!" she insisted. "Mi, because your name's Mitch. And Gao, because you're tall. And the characters are beautiful."
I held up the paper. They were beautiful characters indeed.
I liked the name right away, but I had no idea then how much it would eventually mean to me. Over the course of four-and-a-half years living in China, my adopted name has become more than just a name: It is a mask, a character, an identity.
Peter Hessler, the great American writer on China, discusses his China identity in his first book, River Town. By slipping into his alter ego, Ho Wei, Hessler finds it easier to navigate Chinese life and make connections with the people around him.
"Ho Wei was completely different from my American self: He was friendlier, he was eager to talk with anybody," Hessler writes. "Also Ho Wei was stupid, which was what I liked most about him... People were comfortable with somebody that stupid, and they found it easy to talk to Ho Wei, even though they often had to say things twice or write new words in his notebook. Ho Wei always carried his notebook... and when Ho Wei returned home he left the notebook on the desk of Peter Hessler, who typed everything into his computer."
Like Hessler, I find it easier to approach and connect with Chinese people as Mi Gao. But I also find that it allows me to be whomever I want. Under a different name, I can re-invent myself. Living abroad is all about new experiences and through my alter ego I've tried to say "yes" to experiences I would never have (or want to have) back home.
As Tall Rice, I've appeared in a movie, a humiliating music video, a commercial, a Peking Opera television special and, soon, a Chinese dating show. At home, I would have said no to all of it. I didn't really want to live out these experiences, but I did want the stories to tell friends over beers. Because of Tall Rice, I could do it all.
I used to wonder why Chinese so often gave themselves such strange English names (I've encountered a Lucifer, a Math and a couple Apples, Angels and Princesses) and why they insisted on being called those names long after their foreign friends memorized their Chinese names-- their real names.
I don't wonder about it anymore. I get it. Living in a foreign country or being among foreigners can be difficult and sometimes putting on a disguise makes it just a little easier. Besides, some foreigners here have Chinese names that see and raise any English names locals have chosen for themselves. I know a Graceful Dragon (Aaron), a Big Dragon (Nick), a Dangerous Pig (Julian) and a Horse Cubes (Martin).
Language is a big part of a China identity. In that respect, you have to earn your Chinese name. I came to China armed with an arsenal of one Chinese word, ni hao, my silver bullet. It wasn't until I started to make headway (albeit incremental) in Chinese that I started to feel truly comfortable here, to begin becoming Tall Rice.
Like Hessler, I enjoy slipping into my second identity. I can be goofy and ridiculous. I can be totally at ease behind the mask. It's around my Chinese teacher and good friend Guo Li, who knows me only as Mi Gao, that I feel most comfortable. I talk to her about anything and everything, because I feel like it's not really me talking. I feel like I can be completely open with her. She's like my therapist. She knows everything except my name.
Four years ago, it would have been hard to figure that these two funny little characters, 米高, would end up meaning so much to me. Now that they do, I can't imagine friends like Guo Li calling me by anything else.
To her, I'm an easy-going, dim-witted foreigner. To her, I'm Tall Rice.
中国有种很有名的用米做的糕点，叫米糕。这也是我的名字，译作米高，中国人觉得很好玩。
米高这个名字的由来是因为要做名片。《中国日报》挨着我工位的同事帮我起了这个名字——2007年，我刚到中国的时候在这家国有报纸工作。我准备做个采访，需要名片，在中国，名片正式问候时必备品。要名片，就要中文名，于是米高从此出现在我的世界里。
我找同事帮忙，她很上心，在纸上写下不同的字词组合，用了大半小时。
我在编辑稿件的时候，她悄悄地在我的键盘上放了张纸，上面有两个字。
她告诉我：“这个意思是米(rice)，那个意思是高(tall)，合起来是米高。”
“高米？(rice tall)”
“叫米高要好一些。”
坐在我的工位后面的记者伸出头来说：“哈，这个名字太傻了。”
“才不！”她坚称，“米，是因为你的名字是米奇，高，是因为你个子很高。并且，这两个字看起来很优美。”
我拿起纸来看，这两个字确实很美。
我立刻对这个名字产生了好感，不过，我不知道这两个字对我来说到底意味着什么。我在中国的四年半中，这个名字已经远不止是个名字，而是个面具，是个性，也是个身份。
彼得·赫斯勒，那位书写中国很有名的美国作家，曾在自己的第一本著作《River Town》中谈论到他的中国身份的事情。他发现，利用自己的另外一个身份——何伟，在中国的生活更加容易了，和别人打交道的时候更加自如了。
赫斯勒写道：“何伟这个身份完全不同于美国名字那个身份：他更友好，更想和别人说说话聊聊天。还有就是，何伟显得有些傻气，这也是我最喜爱的一点。人们和有点傻的人在一起的时候会觉得更舒服，他们觉得很容易与何伟打交道——虽然他们经常需要重复自己的话、或者将陌生的词写到他的本子上。何伟总是带着他的笔记本，回到家的时候，会将笔记本放在彼得·赫斯勒的桌子上——他将一切键入电脑。”
和赫斯勒一样，我觉得用米高这个名字更易和人接近。不过，我也发现，这个名字也让我可以做我想做的任何人。用不同一个名字，我可以重新塑造自我。住在海外，一切都是全新的体验，利用这个身份，我可以去尝试一切我没有经历过（也不曾想过要经历）的事情。
作为高米，我出现在一部电影里、有些丢人的MV里、商业广告里、京剧电视节目中，很快还会参加一台中国的相亲节目中。如果在自己国家，我肯定对这一切都是拒绝态度。我不是很想实践这些的，但是，我确实想和朋友喝酒的时候，给他们讲讲我的有趣经历。作为米高，我可以去做这些。
我曾经惊讶于为何中国人经常会给自己起那么奇怪的英文名（我碰到过叫路西佛的——Lucifer有魔鬼之意，还碰到过叫玛斯的——Math数学之意，还有“苹果”、“天使”、“王子”等等），而且我也想知道为何外国朋友都记住他们的中文名字了，还要别人叫他们英文名。
我现在不觉得奇怪了。我明白了。旅居国外或是生活在外国人圈子里是有些不易相处的，带上这样的假身份会更容易些。另外，一些在这里的外国人，给自己取的中文名也带有本来自己英文名的一点痕迹。我认识的人中，艾伦（Aaron）取名雅龙，尼克（Nick）取名大龙，朱利安（Julian）取名险猪，马丁（Martin）取名马立方。
语言是中国身份很重要一部分。从这方面来讲，你得有中文名。我来到中国的时候，只会说一个中文单词“你好”。只有我在中文方面进步了，我才开始真正适应，开始成为米高。
像赫斯勒那样，我喜欢做这个自己，我可以傻可以笨可以是滑稽可笑的，我可以在这张面具下，轻松自在。我和我的中国良师益友郭丽在一起的时候，是最舒服自在的，她只把我当做米高，我和她无话不说，因为我感觉不是真正的我在说话，我感觉我可以和她敞开心扉，她就像我的咨询师，知道我的一切——除了我的真名。
四年前，对我来说，很难想象出这两个有趣的文字：米高，会对我有这样的意义。我也很难想象，像郭丽这样的朋友，叫我别的名字时会是什么样子。
对她来说，我很平易近人，是个有点傻气的外国人。对她来说，我就是米高。