冷笑话是一种新兴的语言现象,伴随着网络的普及它已经渗透到了青年群体的日常生活,偶尔爆出的一两句冷笑话能使交流氛围变得轻松愉悦,也能展示交谈者的幽默和智慧。本站小编整理了英文简短笑话，欢迎阅读!
Wow!That's a Big One!
哇!那个真是大得吓人
One day a tourist walked into a Texas tavern and ordered a shot of whiskey. The bartender puta big tumbler full of whiskey in front of him.
某一天一位观光客走进一家德州酒店点了一杯威士忌，酒保竞给他一大杯的酒。
"What's this?" asked the tourist.
“这是什么呢?”观光客问道。
"Why, it's a shot of whiskey! Don't you know that everything is big in Texas?"
“怎么了，那是你点的酒，难道你不知道德州每样东西都大得吓人。”
Then, an armadillo ran past the door.
那时刚好有一只穿山甲跑过酒店门口。
“What was that?" asked the tourist.
“那是什么东西?’观光客又问。
"Why, that was a Texas cockroach. "
“哦，那是只德州蟑螂!”
By this time, the whiskey had gone to the tourist's bladder as well as his head,
喝了酒，观光客感到腹胀头昏，
and he asked the location of the bathroom.
他问哪里有洗手间。
The bartender directed him to go down the hall and to the right,
酒保告诉他下楼后右转，
but the tourist turned left instead and fell into the swimming pool.
但观光客却向左转，跌落在酒店的游泳池中。
The bartender heard the splash and went to investigate.
酒保听到水声跑出去看个究竟。
As he put his head in the door, he heard the tourist cry. "Don't flush the toilet ! "
刚把头伸进门就听到观光客大叫，“不要按动马桶冲水哟!
英文简短笑话篇二Aren't Kidss Wonderful?
小孩子实在了不起!
Mother got on the train with Little Johnny and Little Ronny.
妈妈和小强尼、小罗尼一起搭乘火车。
Little Johnny was full of questions, as usual: "What's an emergency brake, Mommy?"
小强尼一如往常问东问西，“妈咪，什么是紧急煞车?"
“Why did that policeman ask to see our tickets?"
“为什么那位警察叔叔要看我们的车票?"
"Why can't I lean out the window?" etc.
“为什么身体不能伸出窗外?"等等诸如此类问题。
His mother was becoming ever more exasperated.
妈妈实在忍不住要发脾气了。
Finally, Little Johnny asked, "What was that last station we stopped at, Mommy?"
最后小强尼又问：“妈咪，刚刚火车停靠的是哪一站?”
"I don't know, Johnny, and will you please stop pestering me? I'm trying to read."
“我不知道，强尼，你可不可以不要烦我，我正在看书呢!”
A few minutes of silence passed. Then Johnny said, "It's too bad you don't know what stationthat was, cause that's where Little Ronny got off."
一阵安静后，强尼说：“真糟糕，你竟然不知道罗尼下车的哪个车站。"
英文简短笑话篇三Don't Get Caught!
不要被逮着了!
Out in the forest preserve, a man strolled up to the fisher man and asked whether he'd hadany luck.
在森林保护区内，有个人走向一位正在钓鱼的老兄并问他有没有收获。
"No,nothing today,but you should see me yesterday. I caught fourteen bass in the morning andanother twelve in the afternoon!"
“今天什么也没有，不过你应该昨天来见我才是。昨天早上我钓了十四尾鲈鱼，下午钓了十二尾呢!
"Well, that's very interesting. Do you know who I am?"
“哦，那相当不错嘛，你知道我是谁吗?”
"No."
“不知道。”
"I happen to be the game warden."
“我恰巧就是监视狩猎的管理员。”
" do you know who I am? I'm the biggest liar you ever laid eyes on."
“哦，那你又知道我是谁吗?我是你所发现最会说谎话的人。”
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