关于超搞笑的英语笑话

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笑话是一种用来逗笑取乐的文体。笑话,不仅能让同学们在日常生活和学习中不时地会心一笑,还能从中学习到不少的英语知识。本站小编分享关于超搞笑的英语笑话,希望可以帮助大家!

关于超搞笑的英语笑话
  关于超搞笑的英语笑话:The end of the world 世界末日

A jackal(豺,走狗) who was going to be eaten by a lion. The jackal said to the lion: "No, please, you can't eat me! You can't eat me! This will be a great mistake. If you eat me, that'll be terrible, that will be a disaster, that will be the end of the world!" The lion was very puzzled and said: "How come? How come if I eat you, the world will end?" The jackal said:"Because if you eat me, that will be the end of the world for me!"

有只狼快被狮子吃掉了。狼对狮子说:“求求你不要吃我!你不能吃我,这是一个天大的错误!如果你吃了我,那就惨了,会有灾难、会世界末日!” 狮子满脸疑惑地问:“为什么把你吃掉就会世界末日?” 狼回答:“如果你吃了我,就是我的世界末日啊!”

  关于超搞笑的英语笑话:A thesis advisor 论文导师是谁

It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.

Fox: "What are you working on?"

Rabbit: "My thesis."

Fox: "Hmmm. What's it about?"

Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."

Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes."

Rabbit: "Sure they do, and I can prove it. Come with me."

They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After a few minutes, the rabbit returns, alone, to his typewriter and resumes typing.

Soon, a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.

Wolf: "What's that you're writing?"

Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."

Wolf: "You don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"

Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"

The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.

Inside the rabbit's burrow: In one corner, there is a pile of fox bones. In another corner, a pile of wolf bones. On the other side of the room, a huge lion is belching and picking his teeth.

It doesn't matter what you choose for a thesis subject.

It doesn't matter what you use for data.

What does matter is who you have for a thesis advisor.

这是一个阳光灿烂的晴朗日子,森林里一只小兔子坐在洞穴外,在打字机上敲敲打打。这时一只散步的狐狸走了过来。

狐狸:“你在做什么呢?”

兔子:“写我的论文。”

狐狸:“唔,是关于什么的?”

兔子:“噢,我在写兔子是怎样吃掉狐狸的。”

狐狸:“你太搞笑了吧!谁都知道兔子不吃狐狸。”

兔子:“兔子当然吃,我能证明的。跟我来。”

它们一起消失在兔子的洞穴里,几分钟后只有兔子独自出来了。它回到打字机前继续敲打。

很快,一只狼走了过来,停下看着兔子奋力工作。

狼:“你在写什么呢?”

兔子:“我在写论文,关于兔子如何吃掉狼。”

狼:“你不会指望这种垃圾论文被发表吧!”

兔子:“能发表,你想知道为什么吗?”

兔子和狼一起进了洞穴,而兔子又一次独自走了出来。几分钟后它继续打字。

兔子洞穴里:一个角落里是一堆狐狸骨头,另一角落里是一堆狼骨头。而另一侧是一只狮子,它边打着饱嗝,边剔着牙齿。

论文的题目选什么无关紧要。

你用什么作为例证数据也无关紧要。

真正重要的是:你的论文导师是谁!

  关于超搞笑的英语笑话:I was pushing you

One day a monkey who was very hungry met with a turtle creeping along the road. "My dear Slow Foot, can't you find anything to eat for me?" said the monkey. "O yes, Sly Head, I can," said the turtle. "Come this way, there is a banana-plant just over there."

Soon they came to the banana-plant bearing lot of ripe fruit. The monkey climbed the plant, but before he could pick some bananas, the turtle cried, "Run, Sly Head, run! Here comes a man!"Instantly he came down and ran in a hurry. But the turtle could not run, and she caught the monkey's tail in her mouth and the monkey pulled her away.

When they were safe, the monkey said, "Slow Foot, that man did not catch you because I pulled you away." "O no, Sly Head, no!" the turtle said, "you were not pulling me. I was pushing you."

  关于超搞笑的英语笑话:Two roaches 两只蟑螂

Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant.

"I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere -- it's so sanitary(卫生的) that the whole place shines."

"Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"

两只蟑螂正在一条小巷的垃圾堆上大吃着,其中的一只谈起了它在一家新开张的餐馆里的经历。

“那时我在街对面的那家新餐馆里,”它说。“那里太干净了!厨房没有一点污渍,地面闪着白光。任何地方都没有垃圾。那里是如此干净,整个地方都在发光。”

“请不要在我吃东西的时候说这个好吗?”另一只蟑螂不悦地说。


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