冷笑话是一种新兴的语言现象,伴随着网络的普及它已经渗透到了青年群体的日常生活,偶尔爆出的一两句冷笑话能使交流氛围变得轻松愉悦,也能展示交谈者的幽默和智慧。本站小编整理了关于幽默英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!
逮捕罪犯
The Los Angeles Police Department,the FBI,and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.
洛杉矶警察局、联邦调查局和中央情报局，都想要证明他们最会逮捕罪犯。
The President decides to give them a test.
于是总统决定要考考他们。
He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.
他把一只兔子放进森林，而他们每一个人都必须去抓它。
The CIA goes in.
中央情报局的人进去了。
They place animal informants throughout the forest.
他们在整个森林里放置了动物通报器。
They question all plant and mineral witnesses.
他们质问所有的 植物和矿物证人。
After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
就在三个月的密集调查之后，他们得到的结论就是兔子不存在。
The FBI goes r two weeks with no leads they burn the forest ,
联邦调查局韵人进去了。就在两个星期都没有线索之后，
killing everything in it,including the rabbit,and they make no apologies.
他们放火把森林烧了，杀光了里面的一切，包括这只，兔子在内 ，而且他们并没有表现出歉意。
The LAPD goes come out two hours later with a baddly beaten bear.
洛杉矾警察局的人进去了。两个小时之后，他们带着一只惨遭严重殴打的熊出来。
The bear is yelling;"Ok!I am a rabbit!I'm a rabbit!"
这只熊大声地喊着说：“好啦!好啦!我是兔子啦!我是兔子啦!”
关于幽默英语小笑话篇二牛肉三明治
A man went into a deli shop and took a seat at the lunch counter.
有一名男子走近一家熟食店，在吃午餐的柜台旁选了一个位置。
"Give me corned beef sandwich,"he ordered.
他点餐时说：“给我来个腌牛肉三明治。”
"Corned beef sandwich is not on the menu,but I can give you a sandwich with corned beef in it ,like our midnight Special."
"菜单上没有腌牛肉三 明治，但是我可以给你一个里面有腌牛肉的三明治，像是我们的午夜特餐。”
"What's a Midnight Special?"
“午夜特餐是什么?”
"A triple decker with corned beef,tongue,bologna,tomato,lettuce,onion,pockle and mayonnaise,on toasted raisin bread."
“有三层，里面是腌牛肉、牛舌、熏香肠、蕃茄、莴苣、 洋葱、腌泡菜，还有美乃滋的三层烤葡萄干面包。…
"Could you just place a piece of corned beef between two slices of white bread and serve it to me on a plate?"
"你可不可以在两片白面包中间只放一片腌牛肉，装在一个盘子上端给我吃?”
"Why,sure!"Then,turning to the sandwich man ,
“哦，当然可以。啦!”接着他就转向制作三明治的人，
he sang out:"One Midnighet it one deck,hold the tongue,bolgna,tomato,lettuce,onion,pickle and mayonnaise,and make the raisin bread white,untoasted!"
大声喊出：“一个午夜特餐。把它做一层就好，里面不要加牛着、熏香肠、蕃茄、莴苣、洋葱、腌泡菜和美乃滋，把葡萄干面包做成白面包，不要烤!”
关于幽默英语小笑话篇三律师的忠告
A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to hanle his ulcer.
有一位医生和一位律师出席一场鸡尾酒会，当时有一名男子走近这位医生询问有关如何处理他的溃疡的忠告。
The doctor mumbled some medical advice,then turned to the lawyer and asked,
这位医生就咕噜咕噜说了一些医疗上的忠告，然后转向这位律师。
"How do you handled the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?"
并问他：“当你在社交宴会场合中被人询间忠告的时候，你都怎么处理这个情形呢?”
"Just send an account for such advice" replied the lawyer.
这位律师回答说： “就寄出一张听取忠告的账单呀”。
On the next morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issues the ulcer-stricken man a $50 account.
下一天早上，这位医生来到他的诊疗窒;开出一张五十元账单给这名罹患溃疡的男子。
That afternoon he received a $100 account from the lawyer.
而在那天下午他竟然就收到一张从律师那里寄来的一百元账单。
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