小学英语笑话故事精选

英语社 人气:1.74W

英语笑话是民族特有幽默的一种形式,每个民族都拥有专属于自己的笑话文化。本站小编整理了小学英语笑话故事,欢迎阅读!

小学英语笑话故事精选
  小学英语笑话故事:Long Life

A man was selling medicines at a fair. At first he sold bottles of a cure for colds for just a dollar a bottle.

Many people wanted to buy it and the man's young assistant moved quickly through the crowd collecting money and handing out bottles of the cold cure.

Then, when he had a big crowd, the man held up a very small bottle.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, " he shouted. "here is the medicine you have been waiting for. The cure for old age. Drink just one bottle of this and you will live forever."

"And, ladies and gentlemen," the man continued, "I'm not going to charge you a hundred dollars a bottle for this wonderful medicine. I'm not going to charge you fifty dollars a bottle. I'm not going to charge you twenty five dollars a bottle. No, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to charge you just ten dollars a bottle. Think, my friends, for ten dollars you can live forever."

Most of the people in the crowd did not believe this.

One person shouted, "if it will make you live forever, why don't you drink it?"

Then another person cried , "Yes, you look as if you're at least sixty years old. "

"Thank you, sir, thank you," the man replied, "I'm so glad you said that. My real age is three hundred and twenty nine. "

The crowd laughed at this but there were still a few people who wanted to believe the man. One of them spoke to the man's assistant as she passed by. "Is that true," he asked, "that he's three hundred and twenty-nine?"

“Don't ask me," the assistant said, "I've only worked for him for a hundred and fifty years."

长生不老

一人在集市卖药。起先他卖一美元一瓶的治感冒的药。

很多人想买药,那人的年轻助手迅速穿行于人群中,一边收钱,一边递药。

然后当围观的人多起来时,那人举起一个小瓶子。

“听着,女士们,先生们,”那人喊道,“这就是你们一直想要的药。

消除衰老的药。只吃一瓶,就会长生不老。”

“女士们,先生们,”那人接着说道,“对这种神奇的药,我不打算卖一瓶100美元。我不打算卖一瓶50美元,我也不打算卖一瓶25美元。我只打算卖一瓶10美元。想想吧,朋友们,只花10美元,你们就能长生不老。”

人群中大多数人不相信他的话。

一人喊道:“如果这药能使人长生不老,你为什么不吃?”

接着另一人叫道:“是哇,你看上去至少60岁。”

“谢谢,先生,谢谢,”那人回答,“我很高兴你这么说。我的实际年龄是329岁。”

听到他的话,人群中发出一阵笑声,但仍有几个人愿意相信他的话。其中一人当那个助手经过时问她,“他已329岁了,这是真的吗?”他问。

“别问我,”助手说,“我只为他工作了150年。”

  小学英语笑话故事:A Mistake

An American, a Scot and a Canadian were killed in a car accident. They arrived at the gates of heaven, where a flustered St. Peter explained that there had been a mistake. "Give me $500 each," he said, "and I'll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened."

"Done!" said the American. Instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene.

"Where are the others?" asked a medic.

"Last I knew," said the American, "the Scot was haggling price, and the Canadian was arguing that his government should pay."

搞错了

一位美国人,一位英格兰人和一位加拿大人在一场车祸中丧生。他们到达天堂的门口。在那里,醉醺醺的圣彼德解释说是搞错了。“每人给我五百美元,”他说,“我将把你们送回人间,就象什么都没有发生过一样。”

“成交!”美国人说。立刻,他发现自己毫不损伤地站在现场附近。

“其他人在哪儿?”一名医生问道。

“我离开之前,”那名美国人说,“我看见英格兰人正在砍价,而那名加拿大人正在分辩说应该由他的政府来出这笔钱。”

  小学英语笑话故事:Jonesie The Great Lion Hunter

A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.

For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.

In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.

"What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion?" asked the chief.

"Forget the damn lion!" he howled. "Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?"

伟大的猎手Jonesie

有个小村庄正为一只吃人的狮子而烦恼。于是,村长派人去请伟大的猎手Jonesie来杀死这只野兽。

猎手躺着等了几个晚上,但狮子一直没有出现。最后,他要求村长杀只羊然后把头皮给他。把羊皮披在身上后,猎人到草原上去等狮子。

半夜,村民被从草原传来的声嘶力竭的尖叫声惊醒。他们小心地靠近后,看到猎手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。没有狮子出没的蛛丝马迹。

“Jonesie,怎么了?狮子在哪?”村长问。

“哪有狮子!”猎人怒吼道,“哪个傻瓜把公牛放出来了?”


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